Thread: English composition check please

This is for IELTS Writing Task1,and I do want to know any mistakes I've made in this paragraph.
So please help me correct my little essay.Thank you very much.

The illustrates what leisure activities are the Australian adolescent children usually do when the have spare time.

As it is shown,both young boys and girls have penchant for watching TV or videos,while there are some differences from other selections.Due to the rate of boy's percentage in Electronic or Computer games reaches over 80 per cent.It is evident that girls are loath to do games no matter outdoor activities or indoor activities according to its rate of 60 per cent in watching TV or videos,Skateboarding or Rollerblading,and Bike riding.However,girls excel at making craftsmanship.The rate of Art and Craft in girls reaches almost 60 per cent compared with its rate of boy in 37 per cent.

It would be really really great if you could post the original text you wrote... It'd really help!