Thread: Please help me!! Losing love of my life because if language difficulties

hi- I met a guy that I worked with that flirted with me until I finally gave in and starting dating him. This was last may- he is from Peru. He barely speaks English- I barely spoke spanish. He asked me to marry him and I said yes- since he promised to learn English and I promised him I would learn spanish. I was to move in in December, and ended up having surgery and moved out of state in November (not to leave him- but I didn't think it was fair since he didn't drive to force him to help me when he couldn't). We were in love- and he told me he understood and would never abandon me and always love me. All throughout December I tried getting a hold of him on the phone with little luck until he quit his job around christmas, I assumed it was because he works 12 hour days and has friends he liked to hang out with, but his mom told me he wasn't there (at least thats what I thought- i didn't speak much spanish then). After that- I tried calling everyday, and finally got a hold of him on average every 2-3 days. I went to visit in the middle of January. Soon after getting home- I was getting sick everyday, and found I was pregnant. I was so sick at times- I had laringitis and couldn't talk, and could only call every two or three days. Since I hadn't learned a whole lot of spanish I couldn't explain this to him, but I wanted to see him in person to tell him about the baby. I knew he would be happy. I told him I would visit the first week of February. The day after I told him I would visit, I was in a car accident with a drunk driver. Due to the stress of the accident and the seatbelt, I lost the baby, and hurt my throat so much so that I couln't talk very well. I immediately wrote him a letter, although it was in English- about the accident and appologized profusely- and he wrote back saying that he couldn't stop thinking about me and that he loved me very much and could not wait to see me. I got this letter on Feb 26th. The next day I wrote him telling him about the baby and what happened. I was finally able to talk above a whisper on March 1st and tried calling. His mom kept saying he was not at home. In the second week of march, I was being told "es in hospital" so I thought he was hurt and in the hospital. this happened for a couple weeks, I was asking if he was ok, bien, and his mother said yes, that he had "influenza" When I found that out- I made a trip to see him, waiting outside his house (he lives inside a locked building, knocking would have not been heard) but I never saw him or his mother for two days. I never stopped calling. His mom never stopped telling me he was in the hospital, when she didn't hang up on me. Last week he finally answered the phone and told me not to call him any more because of our "language barrier". Based on the last letter I received and our last visit- this didn't sound right. The only thing I would figure why he was upset was the letter about losing the baby- or perhaps his mother was trying to break us up- i don't know, but I know I love him- and don't care if he never learns English, and I am learning spanish, but I do not know it well enough to write to him and ask him what is wrong. Is there someone out there that could help me write a letter? I have a draft written below- Please help me- I am hopelessly devoted and in love, and want to understand the real reason that he stopped answering the phone- thank you in advance!!!


I would like to start by saying that whatever has happened, I am deeply sorry. I did not mean to hurt or offend you in any way. However, I am very confused about what happened.

If you do not want to be together really is because of our different languages, I am very confused. I have no problems and I do not care if you never learn English, and my family doesn’t care either, as long as we are happy. I am completely happy with you, no matter if you spoke Spanish, English, or could not speak at all. All the same, I want to learn Spanish. In May, I am taking one hour lessons 5 days a week so that we can communicate better with each other.

I do know many couples who have been together many years and are very content and happy, and do not speak the same language, and remember Junior sharing with us his experiences with his first wife. And I do know that we have been able to communicate with each other very well when we are together. I do know that you are kind, gentle, loving, passionate, romantic, very handsome, and are going to be a great father. You are the perfect man, and I will always love you.

You promised your never ending love to me when you gave me the necklace for my birthday. At that point, I thought you considered us to be engaged. Even our friends at the bakery thought I was your wife. Also, based on the last letter I received from you at the end of February, you were not at all upset with me, so I do understand something had happened from the time you sent the letter and March 1st.

Are you angry with me because I lost the baby in the car accident? This is when I noticed that you stopped answering the phone; it was when I wrote you the letter about this. I was really depressed about losing the baby as well. I know I never got the chance to tell you I was pregnant, but I was so ill sometimes I couldn’t call you. Then I thought it would be best to tell you in person, the Wednesday I was coming to see you. Then I was in that horrible accident. For that, I am sincerely sorry.

I tried calling you everyday, but at first after the accident, my voice was not strong. Please tell your mother I am sorry, when I did try to call, my voice was so quiet, she couldn’t hear me and she hung up the phone a lot after saying Hello. I didn’t intend to be a nuisance to her at all. I hoped you would answer and hear me.

After a couple weeks, she was saying “es en hospital” so I thought you were ill. I was told this everyday for a month, I was really worried about you. I tried coming to see you, but I waited outside your house for several hours at a time for three days, and never saw you and I only met your mom once, in the dark, and if she did walk in your house, I did not recognize her, I am sorry.

Is it because you don’t think I love you? That is not true, I love you very much, and miss you always when we are apart. The reason I agreed to be apart until your mother moved back to Peru is because I know what it is to be away from your mother. I want you to spend as much time with her as you can. And when we were to be married, you would become an American, and then we would be able to visit your family in Peru. Everyone, including your brothers and sisters, and nephew and nieces.

All I know is that without you I am miserable, but when I am together with you I feel a joy that spreads throughout my whole body, and fills me with great pleasure. I feel like we are the only two people on earth because you are so kind and romantic.

I enjoyed every minute we spent together. I love walking in the park, and had the time of my life with you at the zoo. Even when we were not together- my thoughts always turned to you, and each time it made me smile for hours. When I would sleep, my dreams would often lead a path to you.

It says in the Bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” I truly believe this, and truly believe we met each other by the fate of God and Heaven.

Whatever the reason you are upset, I am truly sorry, still, I want to spend the rest of my life, and forever, trying to make it up to you. And if you love me as much as I know you do, I do not know why you would want us both to suffer being apart.

I will stop again tomorrow at 9:00 am and again at 3:00 pm. If you truly don’t want me anymore, I want you to look into my eyes and say that you don’t love me. If it is really so- I wish to give you back the engagement gift, as it was given to me as a promise to me that you would never abandon me.