Thread: draft and redraft

can somebody help me to translate this sentence:

"In dressing-gowns, on the floor at the end of the bed, the two elegant figures drafted and redrafted a note to Edward Heath."

"En el piso, al pie de la cama, las dos elegantes siluetas, en bata, escribían y reescribían una carta para Edward Heath".

Help!! I dont like my version, please help me!

Originally Posted by clarab

can somebody help me to translate this sentence:

"In dressing-gowns, on the floor at the end of the bed, the two elegant figures drafted and redrafted a note to Edward Heath."

"En el piso, al pie de la cama, las dos elegantes siluetas, en bata, escribían y reescribían una carta para Edward Heath".

Help!! I dont like my version, please help me!

Your translation is fine as I see it. It only sounds awkward because you have too many commas. How about this?

"En el piso y al pie de la cama, las dos elegantes siluetas en bata escribían y reescribían una carta para Edward Heath".

oh, good!
that means "escribían and reescribian" sounds good in your oppinion. fine!
i was not sure about it.

thanks for correcting my punctuation marks too