Thread: help please, it is a homework

hi everybody, I need you help me. this is my essay about the death of polar bears, it should be a essay cause-effect. I would like you check it. please, I accept suggestions. thanks... ahh soy mexicana.

Polar bears at risk

Polar bears live only in the northern Arctic where they spend most of their time on ice floes. Today, polar bears are decreasing rapidly. Nowadays, scientists predict that bears could disappear by 2050. The global warming, hunting and organic pollutants are the most important causes of death of polar bears.


One of the main causes of the death of polar bears is the global warming. The global warming is very dangerous because it increase temperatures of ocean water. Accordingly, sea ice has shrunk. Thus, marine animals like seals or bears should change their ecosystem. Under these conditions, human being and marine animal will share an ecosystem.

Another important cause is illegal hunting. The hunt of polar bears is alarming because it causes a direct death and reduction in the population of these animals. Also, it is increase because of obtain a reward. Also, illegal hunting has unbalanced the animal species. As a result, several animals have problem to reproduce. Hence, many animals are in danger of extinction.

The latest cause most important in the death of polar bears is organic pollutants. It is critical in the death of polar bears because it contaminates their habitat which is the arctic sea. If the sea is contaminating, animals like fish could die. Consequently, if fish die, polar bears could not eat it, and if they don´t eat, they could die.


Humans should protect polar bears, because it is possible for them to do. A request for save the polar bears is planting a tree; it is for help stop the global warming. Another petition is stop the hunting of these animals. Also, we have to stop buying pesticides because it is contaminating the seawater. In those ways, we should try to help and protect the polar bears. We have an obligation; save the polar bears.

Polar bears live only in the northern Arctic where they spend most of their time on ice floes. Today, polar bears are decreasing rapidly. Nowadays, scientists predict that bears could disappear by 2050. (The) Global warming, hunting and organic pollutants are the most important causes of death (of polar bears).

One of the main causes (of the death of polar bears) is global warming. (The global warming) It is very dangerous because it increases temperatures of ocean waters. Accordingly, sea ice has shrunk. Thus, marine animals like seals or bears should change their ecosystem. Under these conditions, human being and marine animal will share an ecosystem.

Another important cause is illegal hunting. The hunt of polar bears is alarming because it causes direct death and reduction in the population of these animals. And it also increased because of rewards. Illegal hunting has unbalanced the animal species. As a result, several animals have problems to reproduce and are in danger of extinction.

The latest cause is organic pollutants. It is critical because it contaminates their habitat in the arctic sea. If the sea is contaminated, animals like fish could die. Consequently, if fish die, polar bears could not eat it, and if they don´t eat, they could die.

Humans should protect polar bears because it is possible for them to do so. A request for save the polar bears is planting a tree; it is for help stop the global warming. Another petition is stop the hunting of these animals. We also have to stop buying pesticides because it is contaminating the seawater. In those ways, we should try to help and protect the polar bears. We have an obligation; save the polar bears.

What is "skrunk", did you mean shrink?
I would delete words ( ) and underlined.
corrections in red and underlined
itallics and underlined words or sentences I don`t understand what you meant or your writting...

Polar bears live only in the northern Arctic where they spend most of their time on ice floes. Today, polar bears are decreasing rapidly. Nowadays, scientists predict that bears could disappear by 2050. (The) Global warming, hunting and organic pollutants are the most important causes of death (of polar bears).

One of the main causes (of the death of polar bears) is global warming. (The global warming) It is very dangerous because it increases temperatures of ocean waters. Accordingly, sea ice has shrunk. Thus, marine animals like seals or bears should change their ecosystem. Under these conditions, human being and marine animal will share an ecosystem.

Another important cause is illegal hunting. The hunt of polar bears is alarming because it causes direct death and reduction in the population of these animals. And it also increased because of rewards. Illegal hunting has unbalanced the animal species. As a result, several animals have problems to reproduce and are in danger of extinction.

The latest cause is organic pollutants. It is critical because it contaminates their habitat in the arctic sea. If the sea is contaminated, animals like fish could die. Consequently, if fish die, polar bears could not eat it, and if they don´t eat, they could die.

Humans should protect polar bears because it is possible for them to do so. A request for save the polar bears is planting a tree; it is for help stop the global warming. Another petition is stop the hunting of these animals. We also have to stop buying pesticides because it is contaminating the seawater. In those ways, we should try to help and protect the polar bears. We have an obligation; save the polar bears.

What is "skrunk", did you mean shrink?
I would delete words ( ) and underlined.
corrections in red and underlined
itallics and underlined words or sentences I don`t understand what you meant or your writting...

Polar bears live only in the northern Arctic where they spend most of their time on ice flows (correction). Today (correction)polar bears are decreasing rapidly. Nowadays, scientists predict that bears could disappear by 2050. (correction)Global warming, hunting and organic pollutants are the most important causes of death of polar bears(correction).

One of the main causes (correction)is global warming. (correction)It is very dangerous because it increases temperatures of ocean waters. Accordingly, sea ice has shrunk (correction)thus, marine animals like seals or bears should change their ecosystem. Under these conditions, human being and marine animal will share an ecosystem.

Another important cause is illegal hunting. The hunting (correction) of polar bears is alarming because it causes direct death and reduction in the population of these animals (correction)and it also increased because of rewards. Illegal hunting has unbalanced the animal species. As a result, several animals have problems to reproduce and are in danger of extinction.

The latest cause is organic pollutants. It is critical because it contaminates their habitat in the arctic sea. If the sea is contaminated, animals like fish could die. Consequently if fish die polar bears could not eat it and if they don´t eat they could die.(correction)

Humans should protect polar bears because it is possible for them to do so. A request for save the polar bears is planting a tree; it is for help stop the global warming. Another petition is to(correction)stop the hunting of these animals. We also have to stop buying pesticides because it is contaminating the seawater. In those ways, we should try to help and protect the polar bears. We have an obligation; save the polar bears.


Don't know who wrote under my apoligies. You may find this helpful look at:
(correction)

What is "skrunk", did you mean shrink?
I would delete words ( ) and underlined.
corrections in red and underlined
itallics and underlined words or sentences I don`t understand what you meant or your writting...