Thread: a poem----proofread or correct

Pase a media noche el mar
The tide comes in at midnight

y arda en amorosa llama
and Leander glows like a loving flame

Leandro por ver su dama;
for seeing his lady love

que yo más quiero pasar
I would rather spend some time

del golfo de mi lagar
the receptacle of my wine press

la blanca o roja corriente,
where red and white wine flows

y riase la gente.
and let the people laugh

Does anybody have a poetic mind here?

The English sounds weird...difficult.

Originally Posted by exxcéntrica

Pase a media noche el mar
The tide comes in at midnight

y arda en amorosa llama
and Leander glows like a loving flame

Leandro por ver su dama;
for seeing his lady love

que yo más quiero pasar
I would rather spend some time

del golfo de mi lagar
the receptacle of my wine press

la blanca o roja corriente,
where red and white wine flows

y riase la gente.
and let the people laugh

Does anybody have a poetic mind here?

The English sounds weird...difficult.

The receptacle of my wine press is horrible
In the peace of my wine cellar is not literal but it keeps the sense (as I see)

Any suggestions for improving this?

From Wikipedia: Hero and Leander is a Greek myth, relating the story of Hero (Greek: Ἡρώ), a priestess of Aphrodite who dwelt in a tower in Sestos, at the edge of the Hellespont, and Leander (Greek: Λέανδρος, Leandros), a young man from Abydos on the other side of the strait. Leander fell in love with Hero and would swim every night across the Hellespont to be with her. Hero would light a lamp at the top of her tower to guide his way (y arda en amorosa llama).
Succumbing to Leander's soft words, and to his argument that Aphrodite, as goddess of love, would scorn the worship of a virgin, Hero allowed him to make love to her. This routine lasted through the warm summer. But one stormy winter night, the waves tossed Leander in the sea and the breezes blew out Hero's light, and Leander lost his way, and was drowned. Hero threw herself from the tower in grief and died as well.

So maybe the poem refers to swimming the gulf even though it means risking doom. Or is it mocking the whole idea of love, saying that being a drunken fool is better?

We need at least one rhyming couplet


With midnight comes the tide
And upon the vision of his woman,
Leander burns with the flame of love
I would rather cross the harbor of my wine vat
Where the red and white wine flow
And let the people merry grow

Originally Posted by mariaklec

yes, maybe the author prefers skipping the tragic swim and tears of sorrow, to laugh instead? Is the author saying that love's not worth it? But why a wine press? If you're skipping love, wouldn't you at least want a glass of wine?

jejej, nice posts, María