Thread: Literal translation?

Hello! I am a complete beginner in translation. I know the following translation is literal, but I really dont know how to translate without sounding literal. The English sounds good to me. Any help , please!

SOURCE TEXT: En el popular videojuego del Tetris la clave está en ir encajando las piezas. De lo contrario, éstas se amontonan y cuando tocan techo se acabó: game over. Este indeseable final es el que ha protagonizado la economía española. Como en una mala partida, los problemas se han ido acumulando: la caída del consumo y la inversión, el frenazo de todos los sectores productivos, unos ingresos menguantes provocados por una menor recaudación fiscal... Finalmente, España ha perdido, en este caso, riqueza.

MY TRANSLATION: The objective of the popular Tetris game is to insert the blocks in their right place if not, they pile over the others and when they touch the ceiling the game is over. This undesirable end is the one that has starred the Spanish economy. Like in a bad game, the problems have been accumulating like the fall of the consumption and the investment, the heavy stop of all the productive sectors, some declining incomes caused by a smaller tax collection... Finally, Spain has lost wealth.

How can I improve a literal translation? An expert please help me. How can I do a translation like this without sounding literal. Can anyone please give me another version that would be correct. Thank you

Originally Posted by scouseland

Hello! I am a complete beginner in translation. I know the following translation is literal, but I really dont know how to translate without sounding literal. The English sounds good to me. Any help , please!

SOURCE TEXT: En el popular videojuego del Tetris la clave está en ir encajando las piezas. De lo contrario, éstas se amontonan y cuando tocan techo se acabó: game over. Este indeseable final es el que ha protagonizado la economía española. Como en una mala partida, los problemas se han ido acumulando: la caída del consumo y la inversión, el frenazo de todos los sectores productivos, unos ingresos menguantes provocados por una menor recaudación fiscal... Finalmente, España ha perdido, en este caso, riqueza.

MY TRANSLATION: The objective of the popular Tetris game is to insert the blocks in their right place if not, they pile over the others and when they touch the ceiling the game is over. This undesirable end is the one that has starred the Spanish economy. Like in a bad game, the problems have been accumulating like the fall of the consumption and the investment, the heavy stop of all the productive sectors, some declining incomes caused by a smaller tax collection... Finally, Spain has lost wealth.

You need to end the first sentence where it ends in Spanish. Otherwise it doesn't make sense.

"Amontonar" is "pile up."

"Protagonizar" is "star in." "...that has starred in the Spanish economy."

Also: In English when you refer to something in general, don't use an article. This is a difference between English and Spanish.
In English "the consumption" refers to a particular episode of consumption, previously mentioned. To talk about comsumption in general, use only "consumption." Same for "investment."

"Heavy stop of all productive sectors" won't work. You could say "poor performance in all productive sectors" or maybe "a drastic decrease in production in all sectors."

I think the last sentence means:
In the end Spain has lost not just a Tetris game but something much more important: its wealth.

Thanks for those words!
You mean that the first sentence has to be finished just there, but maybe in other sentences I can mix them right?

Hello there. I tend to be kind of literal myself when I translate, but see if my attempt below can help you polish yours a bit:

“The objective of the popular video game Tetris is to (properly) fit the (falling) pieces (together); otherwise, they pile up and once they have reached the ceiling (it’s game over/the game is over). This undesirable ending is what the Spanish economy has starred in. (Just like/Like) in a bad round (of Tetris), problems have been accumulating – a decrease in consumption and investment, a stagnation in all manufacturing sectors, declining incomes caused by a lower tax collection… In other words, Spain has lost, in this case, wealth.”

Cheers!

Ariel