Thread: help!!!!!

hi...could you check if this translation is correct...any suggestions are more than welcome...
thanks
danii

"Querido

Con gran satisfacción recibimos la noticia de tu graduacion de High school

Estamos muy contentos y orgullosos de ti por el logro alcanzado.

Estas terminando una etapa muy importante de tus estudios que te obligó a muchas horas de empeño y dedicación que ahora son recompensadas.

Muchos recuerdos tendras de esta larga jornada. Momentos tristes a veces y de alegria muchos. Tus compañeros de clase, tus maestros, tus horas de recreo, tus excursiones, tus clases de música, de matemáticas, todo ahora quedará guardado en tu memoria como una bonita etapa de tu vida.

Ahora comienzas una nueva etapa la cual enfrentarás con mas experiencia y madurez. Quizas sea igual o mas exigente pero ya tu sabes que si pones empeño y te esfuerzas todo lo puedes lograr.

Recibe nuestras mas grandes felicitaciones.

te queremos"

this is what i thought:

Dear …

We have been very pleased since we received the news about your high school graduation and We are very happy and proud of you for the achieved goals.

You are finishing a very important phase that made you work hard and spent hours studying but now this work is been rewarded.

From now on you’ll have very precious memories about your classmates, teachers, free time, music classes and trips. Sometimes those moments will be sad and most of the time they will be happy moments that will be kept in your memory as a reference of this beautiful phase in your life.

Now, you are starting a new phase that you’ll embrace with experience and maturity. Maybe you’ll be as demanding as you have been so far or even more but you’ve already known that if you work hard you can make it happened.

Sending you Congratulations and best whishes

Love you

Ps: Please, send us pictures of your graduation day!.

I recommend these changes:
We were very pleased to receive the news about your high school graduation and are very happy and proud of you for the goals achieved.

You are finishing a very important phase that made you work hard and spend hours studying but now all this effort has been rewarded.

From now on you’ll have really precious memories of your classmates, teachers, free time, music classes and trips. Sometimes those moments may be sad, but most of the time they will be happy moments that will be kept in your memory as a reference of this beautiful stage in your life.

Now, you are starting a new phase that you’ll embrace with experience and maturity. Maybe you’ll be as demanding as you have been so far or even more, but you’ve already found out that if you work hard you can make it happen!

Congratulations and best wishes